Presenting ‘Loca’ (crazy) a creative short story

A short story by Ashley Lopez (some Spanish incorporated)

            “¡Carajo maldito! ¿Por qué?” Raquel was in complete utter shock when she learned her husband was cheating on her with a woman named Trish. “Pinche, Trish.”

            “¡Ya! Calmate vieja. You cause way too many problems! You’re so pinche loca! I don’t want you anymore!”

            “¡LARGÁTE!” Roberto had no other choice, but to leave; he left with a terrific smile slapped on his face and called Trish instantly.

Five years later…

            “¡Mamá! You’re crazy.” Raquel’s daughter, Rosa Maria, found a handgun in her mother’s nightstand and confronted her immediately. Her mother has been obsessed with getting revenge on Trish ever since the divorce with her father. Rosa Maria never felt like she was enough to keep her mother happy; Raquel has been fixated on Trish since the moment she found out that Roberto was having an affair with her.

            “I’m gonna kill that puta, hija. I must fix our lives. We’re too poor without your father. The only way to bring him back is if I kill her.”

            “Ma, you’re not going to kill anyone! You sound so insane! What do you have to fix? He cheated on you! Ay mamá, ya dejalo! We’re doing just fine without him.”

            “I know you want your daddy back. I’ll bring him back.”

Rosa Maria knew that Trish was a puta and in fact she hated her guts, but her mother was being too damn loca. Raquel constantly kept her daughter up at night because she’d lay in bed wide awake listening for creeks the floors gave off to make sure her mother wasn’t leaving the house to do something stupid, like kill Trish. Rosa Maria had a good head on her shoulders. She focused immensely on work, school, and graduating on time—she didn’t have time to constantly worry about her mother. Her goal was to make sure her mom was okay with being alone before she moved out. 

As the days rolled by, Rosa Maria watched Raquel grow more and more anxious, assumingly because the fifth year of their divorce was approaching.

            “You don’t understand, mija. I am still in love with your father.”

            “Do you know how estúpida you sound, mamá?! Stop being pinche ridiculous, mujer! He cheated on you and he’s probably with her right now… FIVE YEARS LATER!” She always had to be the voice inside her mother’s head that taught her right from wrong.

            “NO! You don’t mean that!” Tears started swelling out of Raquel’s eyes. Gasping for air, she began choking on her own saliva from sobbing too much. “Why? Why? Hijo de puta. Why mija?!” Raquel never dealt with the pain Roberto caused her, she’s been in a deep depression for five years and she refused to get any professional help—she always promised Rosa Maria that she’d fix herself and their lives, whatever that meant to Raquel.

Before Raquel knew it, it was the fifth-year anniversary of their divorce. It was a strange day for Raquel, she didn’t wake up and make her usual morning coffee. Rather, she laid in bed until about 1pm and was staring at the ceiling of her jacked up apartment that was growing mold. Rosa Maria was in class for the day until 3pm – this was the perfect time to mentally prepare for her revenge against Trish. Pinche Trish… taking all my money and my man.

Raquel used to work so hard to be successful in life. Before Trish met Roberto, Raquel was on her way to becoming the manager of a Victoria’s Secret store, until an upper class and degreed woman, Sally, took her job. “I’m sorry, Raquel, Sally has more knowledge with the market of women we are trying to approach.” Her old boss’ words stung every day. Raquel has sworn off upper class women ever since, and to know that this type of woman stole her Roberto—that angered her.

            “¡Mamá! I’m home. I made plans with some girlfriends, but I didn’t confirm because I wanted to make sure you’d be okay tonight,” Rosa Maria called from the living room.

            “Mija, go out and have fun. I already forgot about that puta doing my man for five years now. ¡Carajo!”


            “It’s fine. Go have fun. I’ll just watch movies.”

“Está bien, mamá. Mejor no voy.”

After a little encouragement, Rosa Maria was off for the night. Right when the front door closed, Raquel bolted out of bed. With a steamy, hot shower, she shaved her legs, conditioned her hair, and poured rose water all over her scalp and body to remind Roberto how good she smells. If I’m gonna kill this puta, I’m going to look good while doing it. She dabbed on some lipstick, curled her eyelashes, and straightened her hair. After her shower, she unlocked her safe, which held memories of Roberto. She successfully found her old panties that Roberto used to love.

Raquel has stalked Roberto and Trish for five years and she knew everything she had to know to make sure her plan was up to par. On Friday nights, Roberto worked late and Trish was at home waiting for him. With a two-hour drive ahead of her, Raquel took off to Santa Barbara, California.

During the drive, Raquel was laughing mischievously and kept groping her handgun for encouragement. “Tonight is the night this puta will be gone!” She yelled to herself. At exactly 8:06pm Raquel’s green 2000 Honda Civic pulled up to Roberto’s mansion. Raquel knew the ins-n-outs of their home because she has made a trip to Santa Barbara every month for the last five years.

Casually at home Trish was relaxing and waiting for her husband to get home from work. She was watching Pretty Woman while snuggled up on her white leather couch, until she heard the doorbell ring. “Who could that be?” She asked herself aloud. She slumped off her couch and opened the door to face a beautiful, curvy Latina woman.

            “Hola, Trish.” Raquel smirked.

            “Do I know you?” Trish was alarmed.

            “Don’t act like you don’t know me, puta.”

            “I’m sorry. I’m confused.”

            “¡Cállate! You took my Roberto!”

            “What the—what the hell are you talking about?” Nervously, Trish began closing the door, but Raquel’s foot stopped it.

            “Today, five years ago, my beloved Roberto divorced me because he was fucking you. ¡Puta!”

            “Oh no. You must have made a mistake, ma’am. Roberto and I have been married for nineteen years. Only, we didn’t settle down in a home till about five years ago because he was always away on business trips.”

            “Wh—what? Roberto and I married got married in 1996 and got divorced in 2001 because he was cheating on me with you.” Dumbfounded, Trish began to feel woozy. Roberto and Trish finally moved in together in 2001. 

            “Prove it, please.”

Raquel went to her car and got her wallet, which held an old family photo of the couple holding Rosa Maria, dated in 1999. Trish turned stone cold while she stared at the photo and began shaking like a chihuahua.

            “Mujer. You really didn’t know? I came here tonight to kill you.”

            “I had no idea. Oh my—I think… I think I need to sit down. Please, please… come in.” Trish was absolutely appalled. She had no idea what to do with her dirty husband. Surprisingly, the two ladies clicked instantly and after a while, they got drunk—a little too drunk.

            “I bet that bastard is cheating on me right now. It’s not a coincidence that he works late every Friday. Goddamn it.”      

            “Let’s kill him.” Raquel pulled out the gun that was hanging from her garters. “C’mon. I’ve been obsessed with killing you for five years, mujer. I need to kill someone tonight.” Trish began to laugh hysterically, so hard, she began to cry.

            “Kill me.”


            “I said, kill me. That’s what you came here for, isn’t it?! I can’t live with this man anymore knowing what I know. Kill me, now.”       

            “Mujer, eres loca. I thought I was crazy. You’re crazy. I can’t kill you now—you didn’t even know that you ruined my life.”

            “KILL ME, RAQUEL!” Trish began taking her clothes off and spread her legs. “You see this pussy? Roberto has been hitting this for nineteen years. You see these breasts? Roberto has been sucking these for nineteen goddamn years.” Trish was purposely angering Raquel to make her shoot her. Raquel stayed quiet for a moment. Stirring up with anger she grabbed the gun and pointed it at Trish. With makeup running down her face, Trish looked like a woman gone mad. Still laughing and sobbing, Trish began to throw pictures of Roberto and herself at Raquel. “You like that? Yeah, you do. Nineteen years of marriage. Nineteen fucking years!”

            “Mujer. Don’t make me pull this trigger on your loca ass.” Still pointing the gun at Trish, she smiled with revenge; she pulled the trigger. The sound of the bullet ripping through the air pierced through Raquel’s ears as if she was right next to an atomic bomb, listening to it go off, with no protection whatsoever. The echo of the ear-pounding gunfire carried on for a good minute. At exactly 9:47pm Trish died; at exactly 9:47pm Raquel’s whole life made sense, even if Trish had no idea that she put her in misery for five years.

After a while of staring at Trish’s dead body, Raquel sat on the couch and waited for Roberto to arrive. It wasn’t long until the door creaked at 10:36pm and the door handle began to juggle. Raquel’s heart galloped through her chest. After five years, she was finally going to face the love of her life, once again.

As Roberto was unlocking his door, he noticed the old car in front of his house and wondered why a beat-up car was in his neighborhood. Once he entered his home, he was face-to-face with Raquel, and looked down to see Trish’s body.


            “Come claim your prize, viejo.” With a wicked smile on her face, Raquel giggled. “We can finally be together—no one is our way now mi amor. I fixed our lives.”

            “What prize? You have no pinche idea how loca you are!”

            “Me? Loca? You were married to someone the whole time we were! You’re a manipulative cabrón!”

            “Sí, lo sé! How could I have not married you? You put a pinche gun to my head until I said yes! All these years, damn Raquel, pero ya se que Rosa Maria ni sabe eso!”

            “Stop being a baby! The gun wasn’t even loaded!”

            “Do you hear yourself?” Roberto’s teeth were gritting with anger. “You are the craziest mujer I know and you just proved it! You killed an innocent woman… the love of my life! Leave my house right now!”

            “The.. the… the—the love of your life? Hahaha! Stop lying to yourself! You love me, carajo!”

            “No te amo para nada, loca! ¡LÁRGATE!” Roberto was pissed now. He inched closer to Raquel. He’d carry her out if he had to.

            “You don’t love me?” Raquel’s heart began racing. He doesn’t love me. No me ama. No lo puedo creer. Shaking, Raquel went to grab her gun. “Tell me you love me or I’ll kill myself.”

            “I DO NOT LOVE YOU AND I NEVER HAVE! YOU ARE CRAZY! You cause all your own pinche problemas!”

            “Roberto… te amo tanto.” With the gun pointed directly at her right temple, the bullet shot right through her head and she collapsed, lifeless on the floor.

The End

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