By Ashley Lopez
Hi guys, okay so sorry for being MIA. Literally this “writing” relationship I have is so love-hate. Hate in a sense that I hate that I seem to always have writer’s block OR saving content for “another time”. Anyways, today I wanted to write a quick bit about my current enemy: Instagram.
I’ve struggled a lot with Instagram, I still do. I don’t know what it is about it, but I literally check it as soon as I wake up and I’ve always been like this. It seriously drives me crazy that I’m like this because it’s terrible. The thing is, I’m not like this with all social media. Yeah, I check Snapchat and Facebook, but Instagram gives me like another “high” which I know sounds so pathetic.
I think the fact that Instagram is all pictures and videos makes a big difference aside from other apps. Maybe the idea that it’s just a stream to obtain likes for posts. I don’t post too often, but when I do, I feel a slight sense of stage fright. Another addictive factor of IG is the endless photos of people I don’t even know, but for some reason I care so much about their lives and pictures. What is it about seeing the lives of others in their eyes that I like so much?
I’ve always liked following celebrities and IG models, but I really wish I wasn’t like that. I do not compare myself to them, it’s more the fact that I care to see them that bothers me so damn much. I wish I didn’t care. I wish I just cared about the people I actually know and myself. Personally (well obviously, this is my blog), another thing that gets under my skin is that I don’t want to delete it. It’s like I need it. Don’t get me wrong, it has its bad aspects for me, but it’s such a powerful tool to connect with people all around the world, spread the word, and advertise. I don’t have a business (yet), but what if in two years this blog actually becomes something and I have to start my Instagram from scratch? Oh wait, there I go, making excuses to not delete it. I’m so done with myself.
So, I cannot go cold turkey, I refuse to. But deleting the app (it’s only been like four days, not gonna lie) has already done wonders for my mental health—as in I feel so much better about myself and very refreshed. However, that itch to see what my favorite IG model is wearing is still in the back of my mind. That’s so weird to me. WHY DO I CARE SO DAMN MUCH? Anyways, I will continue pondering these questions to myself.
I just want to be one with MYSELF and not the whole damn world (or should I say, my followers). I will always continue to work on my obsessive habits (ahem, loving Instagram) and who knows, maybe one day I’ll be off “the gram” completely—unless it’s business related because you know your girl is just SO entrepreneur-ish 😉
Any advice on how to get over this and just treat it as a normal app (aka not caring about what other people are doing) OR tips on how to delete it without feeling like it’s such a big deal would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for reading, xoxo
PS—I literally suck, when I started this thing I said “Ashley post once a week”, omg it’s almost been a MONTH. So sorry, when I have a set day I’ll be posting I will announce it. I mean how can I expect to have a serious blog if I can’t even be consistent about it. I’m tryinnngg guys, I swear!