By Ashley Lopez
I am writing to you to let you know that lately you seem to be taking control of all my other emotions. I am unable to connect with my happy, my sad, my excited, my jealous – nothing. All because you’re there, making me so enraged. Though, I know the core of this is (currently) just one person.
One human that doesn’t deserve to have this much control over my feelings. I cannot be myself around it (I’m so mad, you’re an ‘it’ now), work my best, be okay, be professionally comfortable around you or prove myself to you. You are always back and forth, changing your mind, making me do your belittling errands, having me sit in your office just so you can feel superior, backtracking on your words, eating like a slob, etc. – everything about you makes me angry.
So, anger, I am writing about this person because although it is the cause of my anger right now, there has to be a way to get rid of you. See, anger you’re a negative emotion and I’m so tired of you. I’m tired of losing my temper. I’m tired of being irritable. I’m just tired of you, anger. Please go away.
You have me questioning everything. What does this say about me now? What does this say about my life? I’m supposed to be spreading love, not anger. But here I am expressing how mad I can be and am. Is it okay to be so in-touch with all of my emotions – even the negative ones? Am I even capable of love knowing how mad I can get? I guess everyone really is entitled to their own feelings.
In the end, I’m going to try with all my might to turn this negative into a positive. Here I go.
My anger allows me to:
*Push myself to make a solid change in my career
*Work through my feelings and understand the core of them
*Be passionate when I need to be
*Remember that I don’t always feel this way
*Avoid any triggers (if I can)
*Know I have to be better than anger
*Understand that feeling happy isn’t always the case
Well, you read it here first folks, I’m freaking mad sometimes. I’m pissed off right now. I lose my mind sometimes. I hope this helps to show that I’m a real person who doesn’t always walk on rainbows.
But I promise you: I still love myself even with my short-temper. This is me dipping into my go-to happiness.
Whatever you’re working through, make a list of what it empowers you to do or change.
Thanks for reading, xo.