No one can define how dope you are

Written by Ashley Lopez

Dope /dōp/: fresh or cool

Hi everyone, welcome back to Ashley Spills. Ashley, here. I was listening to my favorite podcast this week (well the only podcast I listen to), Unpack ‘n Bounce Back and something was said in the episode that struck me.

No one can define how dope you are except you.

The episode I was listening to is Audacity ft. Rapsody. It’s all about self-confidence and at what age one learns to grow more self-assured. The episode got me thinking about my journey with confidence. Middle school and high school sucked for me in this aspect. I was too shy that I couldn’t even imagine thinking I was pretty.

Though, at one point in high school I did try to fake confidence by wearing different types of clothing that wasn’t necessarily my style. I was trying to be “sexy” at age 15 (*cringing*). Besides that, I never felt genuinely self-confident until college.

In college, I explored different avenues of self-exploration and certainty of beauty. This included looking up to people who had the same body type as me, realizing people were actually attracted to me, playing with make-up, trying different styles, and more. Okay, so now that I was confident, it was time to feel fully secure about myself.

I tried to fit in with certain crowds more than I should have. I wanted everyone to like me. I found myself awkwardly in the corner of different social settings—quiet and putting on a fake smile for people (aka jocks and sorority people). Now-a-days, when I’m with people I do like and I know they feel the same way, I’m pretty social. I learned it’s best to surround myself with the ones I love because, well, they know how dope I am.

I do struggle with not caring about what people think about me, don’t we all? I’m almost 27 now and I can make a list of reasons of why I’m cool—but I just found out that that list isn’t necessary. Who cares if people think I’m cool or not, as long as I do? As I’m maturing, I am proud to know myself more and more and know that I am 100000% dope enough for me.

Tune in on Wednesday for tips I use to try and eliminate the amount of care I give to opinions. I’m not saying I’m super successful at it, but I do try so let’s face this battle together.

This week I challenge you to write down 3 awesome things about YOU! Flaunt them and be proud. Don’t let anyone make you feel as if those things aren’t cool because they totally are.

This week is all about you, finding yourself, your dope-ness, and self-love. While you’re doing that, remember that it’s okay to be a little Self Centered. Check out that hyperlink to see some DOPE clothing by a brand that’s all about self-love and self-care. Oh, and it’s the creator’s birthday so might as well check out her work to give her that BIG BIRTHDAY MOOOD.

Shope Self Centered today!

Thanks for reading, xo.

PS—I am shifting over to a self-hosted website in the coming month (or months depending on my progress) so if you’re following through WordPress reader, please subscribe by email so you can get my post notifications when I migrate over. According to WordPress support, I can move my followers over, but the WordPress followers won’t be emailed, rather my posts will just appear on the reader page without any notice. Yes, I’ll still be Ashley-spills.com.

If you like what you read and would like to support me, please feel free to buy me a coffee – thank you for the support!

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