Going to coffee shops and working on my hobbies is my vice. I need to make this a habit again because I haven’t done this since forever ago. I am at Evergreen Coffee in Henderson, Nevada. Is it safe to share my location on the internet? I guess we shall find out.

Here’s what my day looked like: I woke up, played with my daughter, made breakfast with her, ate, walked to the park with her new tricycle, ran a mile while Dad stayed behind with her, went to the playground, walked back home, showered, played with her some more, put her down for a nap, and now I’m here. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

It feels so good to be here. We’ve been so busy. I’ve been to eight weddings this year, on top of other events, and then there’s the holiday season. To say 2024 has been crazy busy (and expensive) is an understatement. For a while, I kept looking forward to this year being over, but I realized I shouldn’t think that way. If I do, my daughter will grow up even faster.

I need to slow down and enjoy the journey of her being a toddler right now. I don’t want to miss a single thing.

2025 Focus

This year (2025), I really want to make sure I’m taking care of myself, too. While my self-care is manageable now, I still tend to disappoint myself more often than I’d like. I have about 1–2 hours to myself each day (more if I stay up late, but honestly, I need my sleep), so how I use that time is crucial.

Will I work out? Read? Write? Practice yoga? It feels like the things that make me the happiest are often the hardest for me to do.

I was talking to my best friend recently, and she asked if I’m starting to feel like myself again. While I do feel more like me, I told her I’d really love to visit coffee shops and write more. The problem is, I lack motivation and have some bad habits I need to break.

I’d like to work on behavioral activation and replacing my bad habits with good ones. I think many of my habits are my worst demons. I’m living proof that the things you love to do can sometimes take the longest to get started on. You’re not alone in this struggle.

Replacing Bad Habits

I recently learned there’s a science behind habits: your brain releases dopamine when you receive the reward associated with a habit. For example, checking my phone notifications feels rewarding because it makes me feel needed. Scrolling through Instagram or TikTok is rewarding because it distracts me. Biting my nails is also rewarding—it distracts me from my anxiety or feelings of loneliness.

The key to creating new habits, I’ve learned, is getting a reward within two minutes of completing them. For example, the reward after a workout could be a burrito. The reward after writing could be scrolling social media. The reward after practicing yoga? Yep, scrolling again.

What I’ve realized is that it’s okay if the “feel-good” feeling you get after doing something isn’t enough of a reward for you. That’s normal for a lot of people!

One habit I want to replace is all the endless scrolling. I want to practice yoga, write, and exercise first—and then use scrolling as my reward.

I hope what I learned from The Mel Robbins Podcast enlightened you in some way. Find your new habits, choose a reward, and go release some dopamine, baby!

Beautiful readers, thank you for coming back to Ashley Spills. Ashley, here. You can check out my other posts here.

Thanks for reading, xo.

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