I had a good day, an inspired day, so to speak. I’m in the process of finding “the new me”. I had the sudden urge to purge my entire closet, but not quite literally because then I wouldn’t have any clothes. But I did toss (donate) about 20 to 30 items, and it felt so good.

Ever since becoming a mom, I haven’t connected with anything in my closet for a long time. I kind of feel like I need a new identity, one that hasn’t been found yet. A lost identity. I feel like all my clothes connect to the person I’m no longer, the person I can’t be anymore.

Loving the new me and mourning the old me

I’ve already mourned my old life and my old self. I miss it sometimes, and I miss her, but she’s still here, just in a different shape. And I don’t mean weight or body image per se; I literally just feel different. I feel like a new me. But I’m in a weird place where I don’t know what the “new me” is yet. I just needed to do something to start the transition.

So, I started with clothes. I’m no fashionista in general; honestly, I’m so cheap when it comes to shopping for clothes, and I’ve had the same closet for years. I need a change, and whether that means buying new-to-me clothes from the thrift store, then so be it. But I can’t keep wearing the same clothes the old me wore. I can’t expect to look the same because I’m not the same.

Sure, I’ll keep my gym clothes (what I’m literally in 90% of the time), but I need different “nice” clothes. Something that says “BOOOM, WHO’S THIS COOL MOM?”

Let’s get to the point

To get to the point of this blog post, what I am trying to say is that I’ve come to terms with the old me dying, and I feel like a completely new person. Though, I’m not sure if anyone can relate, maybe some moms can, but picture this: A melted popsicle that gets put back in the freezer.

I’m slowly getting used to my new shape (identity). And it’s a weird journey, but I’m happy I am finally learning that I need to come to terms with it. Notice I said I’m learning that I need to—not that I have come to terms with it, because since I haven’t found the new me yet, I can’t say I’ve accepted her yet. But I know I’ll have to.

Wow, this blog post was a lot of blah blah blah; sorry I couldn’t hit you with something more enlightening. Can anyone else relate?

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