Written by Ashley Lopez

Hi everyone, welcome back to Ashley Spills. Ashley, here. You can check out my other posts here. You know those days when nothing seems to be going your way, yet everything is actually going the way it should. Days that you cannot control the outcome, and you’re upset because of it. Maybe even days when you know it was a good day, but you still feel scared, tense, sad, or just ehhh. Days like this should always end in your space—your safe space.

What is a safe space?

A safe space is somewhere you can go to, or a general space, where you feel the most like yourself and you can truly let go. Your safe space is a judgement free zone. A place where you can have an audience, or not have an audience…the choice is yours.

This space allows you to flourish, to cry, to smile, to relax, and to be you. Have you ever dreamed of a place like this? I’m sure you have one. This place doesn’t have to be glamorous. You don’t have to feel put together in your safe space. Your safe space puts you together.

Find your safe space

So, I have a question for you: What do you consider your safe space? Is it the shower? Your bedroom? The kitchen? Maybe your car? At the gym? On your yoga mat? Think about it for a minute.

It’s safe to say you may have several because, well, I have several. My safe spaces are the shower and my desk. These places make me feel invincible and self-assured. There isn’t anyone around me to tell me not to do something or not to feel something. It’s just me doing what I love: fantasizing and creating.

Why is having this space important?

Because when you’re having a day like the ones I mentioned in the beginning of this post, you’re going to need a place to unwind and reflect. As humans, sometimes we just feel more collected being consumed by our feelings in private; we want to make sure we feel safe.

When people hear the word safe, they of think of its antonym: danger. I know what you’re thinking, “If I’m not in danger, why do I need a safe place?” Well, that’s an easy question for me to answer. Just because you aren’t in any particular danger doesn’t mean you are mentally uninhibited to feel or do what you want.

How to know if your safe space is safe?

You are: productive, yourself, and without worry

Feel: secure and free

Can: reflect and understand your feelings

And lastly, you get to know yourself better.

If you weren’t able to determine your safe space, that’s okay! The list above can help you find it. Just ask yourself: where do I [insert bullet points here]?

Things to do in your safe space (remember no one is watching):

• Dance
• Cry
• Jump
• Listen to music
• Sing
• Color
• Stretch
• Paint
• Write
• Meditate
• Reflect
• Sleep
• Throw things
• Did I say dance?

Conclusion

Having a safe space gives you a place to turn to in moments of weakness and unease. We all need a place to call safe. This week I challenge you to determine your safe place or if you already have one, spend some time in it.

Thanks for reading, xo.