Written by Ashley Lopez

Hi beautiful readers, I am officially in Peru and it’s almost been two weeks—YES, time has flown by!

Hi everyone, welcome back to Ashley Spills. Ashley, here. You can check out my other posts here.

Let’s get into it. I left on a Saturday at 1:00 a.m.. I didn’t sleep for two days (the Friday before and the night of my red eye flight). Two days. I mean, I’ve experienced this before (my sleep patterns are like way off around big events), so it wasn’t anything super new to me. Before I even left (that Friday afternoon) I was already looking forward to going to sleep the Saturday night I arrived in Peru. Imagine that? I was setting myself up for disaster. I was telling myself that I wasn’t going to sleep on the plane so what’s the point of even trying.

PSA Alert—I did try, but no success. Anyways, not the point of this post.

Was I overthinking everything?

Absolutely. I’m here, I’m in Peru! I made it… all in one piece too. I landed at 3:00 p.m. on a Saturday and the universe granted me some sleep that night.

I’ve been living out of my luggage because unlike the last few times I’ve visited, I came with my dad. I’m swapping back and forth between my dad’s hotel, my great grandma’s house, and my grandma’s house. I just know I’m going to forget something.

How I’m feeling

Overall, I’m feeling good. I’m starting to get homesick this week, but that’s a given. I go to Colombia in nine days so that should be fun. I spent the first week here mostly with my dad. I met some family and friends and I got dental work done. The dentist here gave me some great cavity fillings: I feel no sensitivity on the teeth that he fixed! Crazy, right? My dad also took me to see his childhood home and neighborhood. It was nice to see where my dad grew up. Oooo and the food, don’t even get me started on the food. I’m eating good and gaining weight lol.

This week, I’m at the beach, El Silencio, with my grandma. She has a house here and so does my grandpa. Life this week has been slow and I haven’t got much done. I’ve been trying to do my breathing exercises and some calming mechanisms, but it’s hard to do so when I’m not alone. I really want to master the art of silencing my surroundings. I shouldn’t have to be alone to feel calm. I want to feel a sense of calm even in a sea of people: That’s the goal.

My biggest takeaway (as of now)

I truly feel like such an idiot for overthinking this whole trip. Though I know this is a bit harsh on myself, I was stressing out for NOTHING. My brain, the masterpiece that it is, is incredibly frustrating and I’m learning to love it while also train it. We all have the power to master anything, but when will I be in full control of my thoughts?

The longer I’m here and the lower my countdown until home gets, the more I see how much I torture myself by overthinking. It’s pretty ridiculous…

Being on this journey toward self-awareness is never ending, and with that said, will my mental self-torture ever end?

For now, I hope you enjoy these pictures.

Thanks for reading, xo.

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