With my constant battle to fight off overthinking and worrying, I’ve hit a dead-end, a cul-de-sac, of the pure rampage in my mind. I was talking to my grandma yesterday and she was reminiscing on my birth. She said my big eyes were just like hers when I was born: Open.

I am triggered by the thought that even as a baby my mind was rattled by the unknown. And with the lack-of power to silence my thoughts and mute the world.

Though, at the same time I thankful for this mess of a brain because it gives me the ability, and creativity, to imagine things way beyond anything I have yet to share.

This topic is a bit daunting to write about because it’s a slap in the face to realize that I haven’t grown as much as I should have by now. And yet again I need to work on eliminating the word should because what standards did I set for myself to feel this way anyways? (You can read about forgetting the word should here.)

Overthinking and this blog

I will admit, starting this blog has definitely helped me in my journey toward self-awareness. I am very aware that my thoughts are my bliss, and my demons.

Certain that I will always feel anxious and worried about little things, or pondering who-knows-what, I will take this newfound “negative trait” and see what I can do with it (you can read about turning a negative into a positive here). I used to try to fix it, to change it. Yes, I have made progress on calming my thoughts (semi-successful in this) and working through episodes of it, but now I am on a mission to work with it and to embrace everything my brain throws at me.

Everything as in the dark, chaotic, and catastrophic ideas that are always presenting themselves. I’m going to make overthinking the new “it” thing. I’m calling all overthinkers: Let’s UNITE.

If you’re looking for some impossible ideas that will likely never pan out because they make no literal sense OR for someone to create unrealistic problems, feel free to shoot me a message (hehe).

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Overthinking or overanalyzing? You decide.

Always circling the drain, I’m everything I tell people not to be.
No matter what, I’m at 100 mph and I’m not sure I’ll ever see a yellow light.
Creating my own rabbit hole is only the beginning, going down it is the real mayhem.
Constantly occupied by their actions with no room to worry about my own.
Forever concerned with their thoughts and emotions when it’s my own that are shot into a

negative space.

Beautiful readers, thank you for coming back to Ashley Spills. Ashley, here. You can check out my other posts here.

Thanks for reading, xo.

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