Written by Ashley Lopez
Hi everyone, welcome back to Ashley Spills. Ashley, here. If you missed my last post, you can check it out here. Today I want to talk about empathy. Again, my writing is mostly opinionated and derives from the various resources I use for my own personal use. As you can probably tell by now, I’m intrigued and fascinated by a lot of things, topics, places, and people.
What’s an empath?
What inspired this topic was listening to my favorite podcast, Unpack n’ Bounce Back, episode “Empathy: Are you an empath?“. To me, the word empathic means being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes without trying to. An empath means feeling the emotions of others and truly absorbing them.
You can check out the definition of empath here.
How do I know if I’m an empath?
If you can feel what other’s are feeling without experiencing what they are, then you’re probably, at least somewhat, an empath.
There are a few signs that can help determine whether you’re an empath: you have a hard time not caring about others (even strangers); you avoid and despise any conflict; you’re able to see others, and the world, in ways that others don’t; it’s hard for you to handle and bounce back from emotional stressors in your life such as sad films, sad books, witnessing sad things, etc.; and you can feel the pain of others for a long time.
I also linked two quizzes below under Other Resources that I found helpful in my own self-discovery for determining if I’m an empath.
How do empaths behave?
From what I’ve gathered, many empaths are sensitive. You may see them focusing on their surroundings because they’re engrossed by the people and emotions around them. Since empaths are able to feel more, they’re highly intuitive; this means they’re able to understand and act upon things without being conscious of it, or without reasoning.
Often times sensitivity is seen as a weakness, so if you’re around someone or know someone who is sensitive, cut them some slack. They’re dealing with their own emotions as well as probably yours!
Click here for the definition of intuitive.
I’m an empath, now what?
Embrace it. Feeling and absorbing what other people (strangers too) are feeling is a gift. I know at times it’s difficult to draw the line between your feelings and theirs, but if you look at it in a positive manner, it can make all the difference. After writing this piece and listening to the podcast episode mentioned above, I do believe I’m an empath because I get sucked into the feelings of others. I also try to resolve problems that aren’t mine because I want to help people or I feel sad/bad for them.
If you feel sorry for the people who hurt you, then drawing the line can become even more obscured than it already is. If that’s the case, then my advice is to write down reminders for yourself as to how they hurt you, why you are mad, and why you’re right to be mad. Please remember three things: 1. You shouldn’t stay mad at someone (holding anger in is not healthy). 2. Forgiving someone does not mean you have to keep them in your life. 3. Do not feel bad for letting someone go who hurt you or backstabbed you, or someone you outgrew.
Here is a positive affirmation to help deal with your empathy: “I am so emotionally capable of understanding my feelings, your feelings, and their feelings. I am the perfect mediator for all things conflict. People like me because I understand them and genuinely love them, too. I am and always will be surrounded by love and sentiment.”
Weekly challenge
Take the quizzes below to help you determine if you’re an empath. If you know you’re not an empath, see what it feels like for you to try to connect with the problems of someone else.
Thanks for reading, xo.
Other resources
This week’s Amazon finds
The Chicago Manual of Style, 17th Edition
The Copyeditor’s Handbook: A Guide for Book Publishing and Corporate Communications
The Copyeditor’s Workbook: Exercises and Tips for Honing Your Editorial Judgment
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