Written by Ashley Lopez

Hi everyone, welcome back to Ashley Spills. Ashley, here. You can check out my last post here. Are you thriving so far? The new year allows us to re-evaluate our life and break habits that didn’t serve us in the past year. I moved back to my hometown in 2021; I had to adjust to being closer to people who wanted my attention more often than not. Here’s how I protected my element in 2021.

Protect your element: Let go of people

In 2021 I let go of a few people that no longer served my element, peace, and spirit. While some people were harder to let go of than others, I am happy with the outcome. I feel satisfied with my decision. To let go of someone can be easier to say than do. An indicator that someone is not supposed to be in your life anymore is if you are clouded with unwanted thoughts of them. If you suppress negative feelings towards someone, they’re just not worth keeping around. Don’t apologize for letting someone go. Live your life, girl.

Protect your element: Stay in rather than out

I spent more than half of 2021 doing something on the weekends. This year, I am aiming to dedicate two weekends each month to staying in rather than out. I’m not saying to not make dinner plans. What I mean is to not stay overnight elsewhere or let people in your habitat so often; there’s no reason you should be entertaining so many people. Having a self-care routine is ideal in protecting your peace and when you’re not in your own space, that routine is susceptible to breaking. Can you agree?

Protect your element: Set boundaries

Boundaries for relationships, whether that be romantic, familiar, or friendly has always been tough for me to make because I have a hard time saying no to people. Not setting any boundaries for relationships will pull you left and right. You will never be able to give yourself time to breathe and realize what you need. Setting boundaries for relationships can be seen as a negative thing which makes it even harder to set them. Learning how to stand up for what you want is vital in self-care. The people around you should learn how to respect that.

If you don’t want to talk about something, see someone, or take part in something: set the boundary.

Boundaries meaning here.

Protect your element: Understand your feelings and identify your triggers

Your feelings drive you to do things e.g., action igniter. Once you understand your feelings, you are able to recognize a pattern of your actions. If your actions aren’t the best, you should find the trigger for that action. Learn how to resolve it or express it in another manner. Always try to understand your feelings and where they stem from so you are better equipped to handle them. However, it’s important to note that your feelings are valid and your emotions should be taken into consideration. Don’t just brush them to the side. Feeling a certain way is okay and you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. Understanding your feelings will only benefit you in the long run.

The definition of trigger is here (definition two).

Conclusion

It took me most of 2021 to put these ideas into action and I still struggle with some of them. Being wired to care for others rather than ourselves: let’s change the “norm” and protect our element all 2022.

Thanks for reading, xo.