Written by Ashley Lopez

What does vanity mean to you? According to Google, vanity means “excessive pride in or admiration of one’s own appearance.” For me, I would say vanity falls in those words too, but I’ll include being consumed with yourself and about the way you look. There’s a difference between loving yourself and self-obsessing to the point where you think the world is going gaga over you as well or wondering why they’re not.

Hi everyone, welcome back to Ashley Spills. Ashley, here. You can check out my other posts here.

Where beauty standards stem from

Social media, tv shows, movies, etc. have shaped my way of thinking about beauty and its standards. I didn’t really notice until this past weekend. Here’s a quick fun story, I fell off my roller skates and I chipped about 25% of my front tooth. While I was falling, I instantly heard my tooth chip. As soon as I stood up from the fall, I swiped my tongue along my tooth and felt how much was missing.

I immediately started bawling because I looked “so ugly.” I kept repeating “I’m so ugly, I’m so ugly, I’m so ugly” even before I looked in the mirror. Lo and behold, I was able to get my tooth fixed within in two hours. Two hours.

Rather than being thankful I was okay and the nerve in my tooth wasn’t damaged, I was literally fixating on my looks. Instead of realizing how much pain the rest of my body was in, I was too worried about being “ugly.” Ugh, I hate that word. I try so hard not to use it.

Life isn’t all about looks

This post is to remind myself and you that vanity may take over once in a while. It’s essential to remember that life isn’t all about looks and presenting yourself a certain way for others. Having a chipped tooth wasn’t the end of the world. Feeling or even being “ugly” shouldn’t have had that much power over my emotions.

I challenge you to push yourself to feel confident about how you feel and how you present yourself to… YOU. It’s important to love yourself and yessssss, check yourself out because honey, you’re breathtaking!! But let’s try not to worry too about our appearance, if we look “good enough,” if we fit the mold of beautiful, or if we’re dressed okay. If you feel good, pretty, handsome, happy, healthy, etc.—applaud yourself because you are what you feel.

I don’t want beauty standards to ever control my mentality and other aspects of my life again. It wasn’t fun and I feel absolutely foolish about it now.

Thanks for reading, xo.  

PS I also challenge you and me to not use the world ugly in regards to appearance, love, or art.