Written by Ashley Lopez

Gossip: Can’t live with it, can’t live without it. And how tempting it is to gossip sometimes. Oh so tempting. Especially when there’s something, or someone, to talk about.

Hi beautiful readers, welcome back to Ashley Spills. Ashley, here. You can check out my other posts here.

I’m sure some ladies can relate to this because let’s be real, we love to talk to our shit. We can say we don’t, but we do. Sometimes it’s even enticing. Once we hear someone speak even the tiniest bit of tea, it’s easy to start sipping.

PSA Alert: I’m not too sure how some readers are going to feel about me after this post, but I’m just being honest, and raw. This is my space to do so. Sorry if I offend anyone.

I’ve always been one to like listening to gossip, or chisme, but I try to be careful of whom I’m with. Especially if I’m partaking even just a little bit. It’s hard to not talk sometimes. I’ve been pondering why gossiping is such a thrill over the past few weeks, so I thought I’d share my theory.

My theory on why I like to gossip

1. I don’t like someone and I like the reassurance that other people don’t like that person either
2. It gives me some type of comfort that maybe I am actually liked (For ex: at least they’re not talking about me—embarrassing, I KNOW GUYSSS)
3. Weirdly enough, I feel like it brings me closer to people that feel the same way as me

I’m not sure if any of these reasons are relatable to you, but I hope some are. I’m even nervous to share this because I don’t want to sound like a bad person, but I figured gossip is worth writing about because at times it can be such a big part of our lives.

As a woman, I will say that I do take things more heavy (emotion wise) than men. The things that piss me off, don’t piss off my boyfriend. I can be so mad that someone isn’t texting me back, inviting me to hang out, or posting some bullshit, but my boyfriend is like, Who cares? Chill. Relax. Why are you trippin’? If only we can all live so carefree.

But of course, I can’t. I overthink everything and when I’m on the verge of freaking out, or needing confirmation that I am indeed overthinking about someone else’s actions, I talk to someone I confide in and, you guessed it, gossip.

Call it a toxic trait, I call it being human. I have a circle of people that I trust and you better believe that this circle will not be gossiped about by me.

Circle of trust

I’m not going to lie: Me and my designated people have so much tea. It’s crazy—but I love’ it. Gossiping can be a form of mutual connection for women and it can be either ugly, or beautiful. Ugly if everything you say gets repeated to other parties. Beautiful if you work through something that is truly bothering you about someone else. Getting advice from someone and realizing that you’re not alone, or crazy, can be truly healing in some cases.

Women and their tea

Again, as a woman, I know some things are meant to be rude, or done on purpose. That’s the thing men don’t understand about us. We freaking love the thrill of attention, or pissing someone else off. Showing off. Showing up. Posting something in spite of someone. Basically, we are a beautiful mess that’s waiting to be understood, but we won’t actually let you understand. That’s the fun part of being a woman—you’ll truly never understand us. That’s why we’re so wanted.

*hair flip [Insert manicure emoji]*

Now, I’m not trying to tell my readers to go gossip and talk bad about someone. I’m telling you work through what is troubling you with the people you can trust.

Moral of the story, if you have tea to spill, spill it wisely ladies. Find your crew while also making sure you’re not being backstabbed and you’re not doing anyone you love dirty.

Thanks for reading, xo.

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