Written by Ashley Lopez

Hi everyone, welcome back to Ashley Spills. Ashley, here. You can check out my last post here. So, I still haven’t received my Passion Planner and I’m so bummed! I know I can plan elsewhere but I was really looking forward to filling it out this weekend. My New Year’s resolutions/Ashley’s 2022 purposes are still in my head and not jotted down. Oh, the disappointment. I guess we can get into that when I actually sit down and write down my purposes along with my SMART goals. For now, I’ll just write about my day yesterday. Yes, yesterday as in Christmas Day.

Alone time on Christmas Day

My boyfriend went to visit his family for the holiday and I stayed in San Diego with mine. My family and I celebrated Christmas Eve and what was supposed to be Christmas Day, however, when I arrived to my mom’s house yesterday everyone was in bed so I left. At my place, I was alone. Like alone alone. I had a fucking ball. I took a bath, had one too many glasses of wine, binge watched TV, and danced in my underwear like no one was watching because NO ONE was watching. It was great. When was the last time you danced alone in your bedroom? Better yet, your living room!

I do have plenty of “me” time, but this time was a bit different because no one was around me or in my vicinity. Usually, my “me” time consists of my boyfriend being in the other room. He takes the living room and I take the bedroom, I like it that way. I often crave being alone and unbothered, it’s something I genuinely need for my sanity because it makes me feel happy. At times I feel like it may be difficult to date me because I don’t like anyone in my way changing my routine. I like things to go my way. I like to do things when I want to and the way I want to. Can you imagine dating someone like me? I’m glad I found a partner who is confident enough to accept me and still love me.

After spending most of Christmas Day alone, I made a mental note to set reminders for myself every other month to take a “me” day and spread them out sporadically throughout the year. I am really proud to say that I love my own company and I’m okay when I’m alone. I’ve always been very independent and I know that at the end of the day, I only really have myself. Do you agree? Of course, as much as I like my alone time, I am eager to have my boyfriend come back; he should be here in about three hours. How contradicting do I sound? Don’t answer that.

I have a lot of friends who can’t be alone, or get extremely sad when they’re alone—if that’s you too, then make a promise to yourself to find the beauty in being alone. All the good things that come from your beautiful brain are worth praising and there’s no better way in doing so than to have a private concert in your bedroom. Rock your solo… I promise you are worth it and you’ll love it.

Three reasons why it’s good to be alone

This week I challenge you to write down three reasons why you think it’s good to be alone sometimes. Take those three reasons and live by them when you need a breather or when you’re feeling sad about being alone. Here are mine:

• I can get to know myself better without judgement or other senses around me (e.g. someone looking at me or hearing me)
• It gives me a gateway to do things I’m too nervous to do or try in front of someone else
• Learning to like being alone can prepare me for current or future loneliness that can come unexpectedly

(Remember, DO NOT feel bad for wanting to be alone.) I hope that after you read this, you don’t think I’m completely cold. I don’t think I am, but to be a little vulnerable here, I want to let my boyfriend know that although I’ll be okay if you ever leave me: I never ever want you to because you make me a better person and I love you to pieces.

Thanks for reading, xo.

Other resources

50 things to do by yourself