Written by Ashley Lopez
Hi everyone, welcome back to Ashley Spills. Ashley, here. I’m assuming you read my last post, “Why drinking tequila this weekend made me feel sad“; please catch up because that post was supposed to be about what this post is going to be about. Today I want to talk about making decisions based off emotions and decisions for life, like career moves.
Feeling (/ˈfēliNG/): 1. an emotional state or reaction. 2. a belief, especially a vague or irrational one.
Emotion (/əˈmōSH(ə)n/): 1. a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. 2. instinctive or intuitive feeling as distinguished from reasoning or knowledge.
If you are anything like me, then you are in-tune with your feelings and emotions. Sometimes, these can be heightened and this has caused me to make decisions that I regretted either instantly after or a while after. Decisions to be made are part of our everyday lives. An example that comes to mind is making the decision to start a nursing career.
If you’ve been following my blog, I’m sure it has been obvious that I’ve been contemplating my career path. These feelings have led to me getting emotionally distressed and extremely worried. I felt upset and annoyed that my major wasn’t leading me anywhere (English), and I felt as if I should have chosen a career that had a clear path (i.e. pass an exam and become certified to do something).
Career decisions
I’ve always been intrigued by nursing, but never thought to pursue it. Eventually, I thought (and with a little help too): why the hell not? I dove right in by looking up pre-requisites, nursing programs, tuition costs, how long it would take me, where the nursing field can lead me, etc. At the time, I swore I was all in, but I was all in for all the wrong reasons (which were just to have stable income and a career path; I didn’t care [at the time] that I might not love it).
Being as persuasive as I am, I convinced my dad and my boyfriend to help pay for some of my pre-requites that were $1,800 A CLASS. I didn’t want to go the community college route because that “would take too long” and I “was ready for my career to take off.”
Anyways, as I’m sure it’s notable now, that didn’t work out; like many other things in life, I didn’t love it so I decided not to pursue it. Now, almost a year later, I realized I wasted money and time because I felt like I had to work towards something or else I would not feel good about myself. I made this decision when I felt unsure, sad, stressed, anxious, lost, and paranoid. I felt paranoid that everyone around me was so much more successful than me.
My regrets
The icing on the cake was not going the community college route (would have been much cheaper) because at that time I felt completely perplexed by adding another year or year-and-a-half to my end-goal (to be a nurse). I felt rushed and like I had to get it done now. If I had thought it through, I would have realized that maybe I can just write more and see what happens. (Or maybe I can master my art that I do love!)
I wanted to share this example because I think it shows how easily I persuaded myself to act upon emotions. This triggered a domino effect of unnecessary “action items” to feel fulfilled at the moment. I emphasized “at the moment” because my feeling of fulfillment did not last long enough to make my decision worth it. Although I do appreciate trying new things to find new passions, if it’s too costly and time consuming—it’s not worth it. I felt so uneasy to just get it done and did not enjoy the process. (Check out my blog post on 10 ways to enjoy the process again.)
Besides this particular example, I have made plenty of other decisions based off emotion that I regretted (or didn’t). There are way too many to remember all of them, but some examples are: breaking up with a boyfriend, yelling at my parents, talking negatively towards a sibling, taking a job, making certain plans, drinking a little too much, smoking a little too much, etc. My late teens and early 20’s have been a roller coaster of emotions. At the end of the day I’m thankful for the ones that did lead me in the right direction.
LIKE: Breaking up with a past boyfriend (LOL) or drinking a little too much! Hey a girl can have her fun.
Weekly challenge
This week I challenge you to reflect on decisions you’ve made based off emotions. Did they lead you in the right direction? Remember, not all of our feelings lead us somewhere bad—it’s just important to recognize our reactions.
Thanks for reading, xo.